so far quitting smoking just means getting fat, being a bitch, and drinking alone to dull the pain of not putting a cigarette to my lips. i think there is some kind of masochism helping my normal lack of willpower because it is pretty much just the fact that i want a cigarette so badly that stops me from smoking one right now.

it is fucking cold here; it hasn't stopped raining since march; the whole country is flooded except for this corner so i guess i should be grateful but all i can think is that its time to move further south because i need to be warm for at least five months a year.

work is sucking the life out of me: everyone who's ever been a student knows that bored teachers are not good teachers, so i am trying to find the next step in my career path (taught that today) but so far that has just meant going to this alumni networking event and then bailing as soon as the speaker finished speaking so that i didn't have to do any actual networking, ie. talking to strangers. i find it sort of hilarious that even though i essentially talk to strangers for a living, i can't seem to manage it without the authority conveyed to me by their payment. anyway, i went, so, baby steps, right?