this is the end. c. is moving to copenhagen tomorrow. i will be here alone for the next three months, and we will never live together again. he is putting his things in boxes and putting them in our attic. we're cooking something i made for him the first time he came back to me. he's leaving on saint patrick's day: serendipitious since it was saint patrick's day five years ago that i made him promise he would come back to me.

"promise you'll come back?"
"if you still love me this much i'll come back"
"i'll always love you this much"

he is leaving tomorrow and it feels like forever. he is sad; i am scared.