"this is so much better than with h." "i've never felt this way about anybody before." "you're the one"

i'm going to let you go. i started out by saying that i wouldn't compete with her, and i tried, and you "chose me", but you're still hers.

i've started forgetting what made this fun in the first place. secret meetings, garden parties, river islands, cafe gries & casinos. i guess i'll always remember the nhl playoffs of 2011, or the time you stayed on the couch with me all day, and watched whatever i wanted to watch, and touched me the way i wanted to be touched. i'll remember the time you came back to bed with your arms outstretched, or the softness in your eyes when you looked at me.

i'm an angry pot of emotions right now. i feel hurt, and self-righteous, invulnerable, but so naive. i hate not getting what i want, and i hate it even more when my response to that fails. i hate that i said choose and i hate that the way you said "so i guess that i choose you" meant exactly the opposite. i'm disappointed that it's ending this way, your way, and that while i know it will be better in the long run, we're both missing out on a lot of good. but that time someone said we were good together was a long time ago.

i'm tired of guarding my heart. i want someone to knock me off my feet and then pick me up and stick around. i want someone ready for any adventure we can dream up, who beats me out of bed, who pulls me back into it, who notices the secret parts of me (the same way you did) but who values them enough to choose me. not just once, halfheartedly, ironically, but always, everytime, forever.

"definitely, tomorrow" "you've got me. you've got me."