he's got these eyes, that look at me like i'm crazy and surprising and beautiful, and he's got this laugh, that bursts out of him nice and loud. he's got a touch that i crave more than i'm getting at the moment, but i know that it's just for me. he's hot - like, physically always warm - and willing to let me press my freezing self against him. he makes plans with me for months and months from now - talks about future trips to canada, and us establishing ourselves here. he invites me to everything, and talks about "us" being invited by his friends; seems to trust me - whether he should or not; seems not to mind that i'm clumsy and always losing things and have to poke myself with needles multiple times a day. oh, and he's got this hair, these thick english almost curls that i'm allowed to mess up to my heart's content. he wants to watch tv with me in the evenings, but he also wants to take me on dates, to his best friend's wedding, to his cottage in dorset.

alright, alright, i'll tell you the point of this. he told me he loved me a few weeks ago, and i'm trying to muster up the courage to say it back. i know i mean it. i just have to say it out loud, but it seems so hard to say it. it. he's so real everything seems scarier, and sometimes he gives me butterflies, and sometimes i feel so incredibly vulnerable.