i don't really have day and night anymore. i am awake when i need to be, and i sleep when i can. morning is when they close the cafe as i pay for my coffee. midday is when i walk down slick black streets by myself and notice that the clock is pointing to a three. nighttime is when my neighbour feeds the birds.

as i lay in bed the other night (day), having subdued everything inside of me, for the moment, i had the strangest feeling of not knowing whether it was night or day (for me (it was night)). i should have been falling asleep, but then i was late, and then, no, it was night, but then i had been lying in bed all day.

i wake up more tired than i am when i fall asleep.

as i walked home tonight i got goosebumps in waves, my body like my laptop, cycling on and off, asleep awake asleep awake, as i floated above myself on the way home, scowling at the smile on my face.