i was actually pretty content all day, which most likely has something to do with the warmth and the sun shining and the ice cream and breaking my vow not to buy more clothes this spring, and is probably also because of how busy i was today. i spent the evening alone because c. was out with school friends, and anyway, he had invited me but i said no because i like being home by myself sometimes.

so i spent the evening alone and enjoyed it, though i was a bit bored. i built myself a fire and i read and researched and illegally downloaded new spring music. it got so hot in here.

it got so hot, and i got bored, and a little lonely, and then he came home, and i was so hot. i have to go to bed which means getting under the covers and being close together and it is so hot in here i am so hot.

i opened the window and sat on the ledge, facing inside, holding my book in my hand but not seeing the words. the air cooled my back and calmed me, and then all of a sudden all i wanted to do was cry.