he's coming over soon and i am about to stand up to pick up the two pictures of c. and i on the bookshelf and turn them face down, or hide them, or something, so that he won't see how serene i look kissing c. in the badlands near drumheller, or the fit of my head on his shoulder in morocco. i am ok with this. i am ok with this. to be honest, i'm looking forward to this.