one person told me not to put up any walls, and another told me to be happy in the moment and not always be looking for more. i'm trying to just let things be right now, and i'm finding that when i don't look for things that are wrong, i tend to see more things that are right. when i'm all up in my head thinking that he doesn't feel the same, or wanting some other kind of declaration, definition, i miss the way he smiles at me when i catch his eye. when i'm thinking about what it means that he is grumpy in the morning, i'm overlooking the fact that he still made sure we woke up together.

maybe if i try to be happy in the moment, i won't find so many things to build walls around. the moment just feels too fragile to hold my happiness, if you know what i mean.