alright, world! two months to twenty six and riding the crest of a productivity wave: i want to keep this going, don't want to get crushed underneath it, want this to be the year that i don't let myself down. the stakes get higher as you get older; this is something i'm just starting to grasp in full. failing at 23 is different than failing at 25, but hey, not doing anything at all, never trying, never failing or succeeding is worse than both at any age. i'm already ok at this when it comes to love - willing to take chances and see what happens, but relationships have a smaller audience than life choices, and its the witnesses, the crowd, the expectations of friends and family that scare me. i'm happy to be happy, but i think i need to be scared more often.