yesterday i looked up at the stars, trying to pick out the shapes that are familiar to me, and thought about how much that exercise is an analogue for life in general. we look up at the stars, and claim that these five points make a scale or that those ones are a bull. i look at my life, and i pick out symbols and patterns and i find meaning when i want to, and coincidence when i don't.

patterns, forms, symbols, narrative: i feel acutely conscious of how artificial they all are, but i don't know how to think about life without them.