i hate the hours when everybody on the other side of the ocean is asleep. i am lonely until six pm almost every day. i secretly plan my parallel north american life.

last night i dreamt that i was sitting, talking to him, and c. saw me. i tried to pretend it was no big deal. when i woke up c. wanted to have sex - not surprisingly, since i delayed last night by saying "i like it better in the morning" - but i couldn't do it with the dream still fresh in my mind. he got up cranky and we've not been very friendly to each other all day. it seems we've plateaued somewhere between 'in love' and 'over'.