as i start to feel i'm outgrowing the comfortable co-dependence i have with c. (we went to salzburg on the weekend to visit his grandma and spoon), i wonder about the way we thought we were unlike any couple ever. (the way we think we're unlike any other couple.) i wonder about it, and i look at it in ways that i never have before. what if we weren't unique? what if i really let go?

from that angle, for the first time, i realized it would be possible for me to not believe that. i felt like susan, from the chronicles of narnia. she starts buying clothes and starts liking boys, and stops believing in the world through the wardrobe. i always disliked her for it.

since salzburg at least i've not minded sleeping alone. the winter-lover thing didn't work out.