he asked me how i was doing and i said, good, and he asked me, but really, how are you?, and i said, good, i said something like, i miss you, but i like being able to do whatever i want all the time. he took my hand, and i took him home, and we did the sorts of things to each other which i really have been missing since then, but i don't want to keep giving him whatever he wants while i get nothing in return.

i know what i'm living for: i'm living for me, right now, but i think i would like to be living for something bigger than that, and i don't know what it is or where to find it.