calgary. it changes, i change; it stays the same and so do i.

i spent the night with s. in graz before i left, but we're nothing yet, so the holidays are still free. free, gloriously free, because the three nights i spent with a boy from high school were, simply put, magical/passionate/fun/ridiculous. he lives in australia, and returns sporadically to our home, so there wasn't even a glimmer of anything more, but for some reason that made the whole thing shine.

then there was e. he's planning his next move, for his ph.d., away from his current (and apparently crazy) girlfriend. he understands my need for a narrative better than anyone i've ever met, and i think he sees, too, how we fit into each other's stories. there's a chance of us being in the same city in the future, but i haven't gotten to that chapter yet.

and then there's s., back in graz, waiting for me, and all i can think is that he is what i want, but at the same time i know that i won't be able to let myself freely love until i'm home. for good. so we'll see.

by the way, i did this again, so i'm trying to keep things on the sensible side 'til 2012.